Sunday, November 9, 2014

3 Weeks Later

My Dearest Angel Asher,
So, I'm going to try this blogging thing as I have noticed that many friends I have made through this journey use this kind of as an outlet for their feelings and their thoughts, so I am going to give it a try. So, this being my first post, please try not to laugh at your mom.

So, it has been 2 weeks and 4 days since you were born and 2 weeks and 4 days since God took you home. It has not been easy for me, but I'm guessing you already knew that. I'm angry, hurt, sad, heart broken and tired. Sometimes it takes everything that I have to make myself get out of bed in the morning. But, rest assured I will get through this, I will find a new normal but just know that you will never be forgotten. 

This is something that I never thought would happen to me, it's a mothers worst nightmare. From the moment I found out that I was pregnant with you I started imaging what life would be like with a 4 year old and a newborn. You and dylan would have been the best of friends and would have been like two peas in a pod. I long to hear you laugh, see you smile and to hear you cry. Those are things I know that I will never get to hear and see and the one thing that kills
Me most is I won't get to watch you grow up into the handsome young man you should have been able to become.

I do have one request, it's that you watch over your dad. He's one amazing man, but he is really struggling. He's trying to stay strong for the entire family and I'm afraid one day all the emotions are going to hit him all at once and it's going to be to much for him to handle. So please watch over him and every now and then let him know you are there.

Mommy loves you sweet baby boy.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing this, Nicole! He is so beautiful! <3